Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
