So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
A bitchslap is in order.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
