And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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