brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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