Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
