During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
