So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think I am morally bankrupt
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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