Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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