is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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