once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
