Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
