there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
