Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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