i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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