dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
