Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
