question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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