I'm eating all of the evidence.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
