Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
