I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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