Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
