No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
