I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
