So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this beer tastes like vomit already
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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