I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
