sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
