so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Two words: nipple clamps
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