you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
