I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
