i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
FUCK WHALES
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
