His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
