I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
