You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
