We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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