I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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