Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
