Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
