loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We are two peas in an std pod
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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