I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
