Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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