i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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