I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
