Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
