He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
