We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
