waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
