OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
