I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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