Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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