he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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